


When You Stole That Penguin, You Stole My Heart

by Finally_Facing_Failure



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: F/M, Meet-Cute, One Shot, Strangers to Lovers, Ya Girl Emma Really Likes Penguins In This ONe, Zoo, Zookeeper AU, also spot that firebringer and little white lie reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 10:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18363992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finally_Facing_Failure/pseuds/Finally_Facing_Failure
Summary: Paul had been having an ordinary day as a zookeeper in Hatchetfield Zoo, when he encounters Emma, an aunt who wants to give an extra-special (and not completely legal) souvenir to her niece and nephew.





	When You Stole That Penguin, You Stole My Heart

It had been quite the average day for Paul, a zookeeper at the Hatchetfield Zoo. He had counted thirteen children trying to pet a dangerous animal, parents on their phones of course. There had been three people asking him if he knew where the pandas were, two of which yelled at him when he had explained that their zoo did not keep those.

The cherry on top of his day was when a woman threw a lukewarm coffee at him, yelling about how these animals did not deserve to be locked up. All Paul could think was ‘I just want to get paid ma’am, only here for the money…’.

Paul was just on his lunch break, wearing a spare shirt Bill had found in his locker, when Melissa came and joined him at his table. “Hey Paul!” Paul sighed. He did not like having lunch with Melissa. She was nice and all, but also very annoying, kept asking him to join in on some softball tournament.

She reminded him of the Greenpeace girl he would sometimes encounter after work. That girl did not shut up, ever.

“Hey Melissa.” Melissa started unpacking her lunch, neat little sandwiches with the crusts cut off. “Mr. Davidson asked to see you today. He is not in his office, so you might try the walkie-talkie.” Paul frowned, his boss never asked to see him. “All right, I’ll find him after lunch. Do you know what it is about?” Melissa smiled at him knowingly. “I heard that it was about the free position in management!”

Paul sighed again. He did not want to work in management, he much preferred to work with the animals. His current job included feeding-shows, providing information to guests, and taking care of animals when the vet came by. Although it wasn’t a big challenge, he would rather do this for the rest of his life than sit in a lousy office. “Okay.” He said, finishing his last carrot.

Melissa looked at him expectantly, but soon realised Paul was not going to engage in conversation. She turned her attention to Charlotte, who had just entered the cafeteria.

Regardless of how much Paul loved Charlotte, he was not in the mood to hear about how her lousy husband had bailed on their cuddle session again. He made a half-hearted excuse about getting ready for the penguin show, waving at Charlotte as he passed her.

He went over to the penguin enclosure, surprised to find Mr. Davidson there, talking to Bill. “Hello sir, good day?” Mr. Davidson glared at me. “What do you want, Paul?” Paul looked at Bill, who was obviously distracted by something. Paul followed his gaze, and saw a 30-something year old woman, standing suspiciously close to the African penguin enclosure. Bill and Paul made eye contact, but she technically wasn’t doing anything wrong, just staring intently at a penguin.

Mr. Davidson raised his eyebrow, so Paul coughed. “Uhm… Melissa said you wanted to see me?” Mr. Davidson looked annoyed, shaking his head. “Well that was before my wife called me! And Bill here, he keeps calling his daughter during work hours! And my wife…”

Paul started zoning out, as I usually did when Mr. Davidson started going off about his personal life. He looked at the girl, who was attempting to pet Calvin, a particularly small penguin. Bill made a move to go over, but Paul grabbed his arm. He found it kind of hilarious to see the woman try to reach the animal. She was way too short, so she was several inches away from it.

Mr. Davidson frowned, and made to look behind him, and Paul panicked, somehow not wanting the woman to get in trouble. “Sir!” Here Paul realised he did not have a plan. “It – uh – sounds like you and your wife just need to – uh – do something special sometime! In the… Bedroom?” Mr. Davidson looked pleasantly surprised. “You think so?” “Yep, worked really swell for Charlotte and her husband!” Bill chimed in, following his friend’s lead.

Mr. Davidson nodded, talking about his sex life, which Paul _really_ did not need to hear, so he looked at the woman again. There were two small kids next to her, one who clearly still needed a stroller, but was bravely standing, holding on to the woman. She, by now, was attempting to stand on a little bench to grab the penguin, which still did not seem to work.

Eventually, she gave up and just went into the enclosure, jumping over the fence. Bill’s eyes went big, but he did not say anything. There was a lot you could say about Bill, but he always had your back when you needed him to. Mr. Davidson finished his rant about choking (?) and other kinks, to which Bill and Paul kindly nodded until he went away to find Charlotte. Poor Charlotte…

As his boss walked away, Paul saw the woman stand in the enclosure, knee-deep in water. She grabbed Calvin the penguin and carefully jumped back over the fence. She put the animal in a large bag in the stroller, pretending like nothing was wrong. Oddly enough, none of the other guests had seemed to notice the affair.

Bill giggled but tried to hide it through a cough. “I’d never thought this would happen. Did she just steal a penguin?” Paul smiled, “Yeah, I think she did.” The woman noticed them and their Hatchetfield Zoo t-shirts, and hurriedly whispered something to the kids as Paul and Bill walked over.

“Well hello, ma’am, what is going on here?” Bill said, attempting to sound like he wouldn’t burst into laughter then and there.

“I’m just taking my niece and nephew for a nice trip to the zoo! Is that not allowed? I work as a barista at a shitty -“she glared at the children, “I mean terrible coffeeshop, so this trip is like all I can afford to do with them!” “Ma’am, you really –“Bill started, but Paul interrupted. “I got this Bill.” Bill raised an eyebrow, but walked away, going into the little hut next to the enclosure to get the food for the penguins ready.

“Ma’am, wait what is your name?” “Emma.” The woman said defiantly. “Okay, Emma, what is going to happen when you take this penguin home?” The woman looked about ready to deny the existence of penguins, when little Calvin let out a frustrated sound from the stroller. Emma sighed, as the little boy giggled. “We’ll feed him?” Emma said, whilst the little boy clapped his hands excitedly. “Penguins like fishies!”

Paul laughed heartily. “They sure do! But do you know how many fishies a penguin needs?” The boy shook his head, frowning. “Well, we do! Plus, Calvin here really likes hanging out with his friends! He actually has a few brothers and sisters here! You wouldn’t want to miss _your_ sister, would you?” Paul asked the boy. The boy grimaced, but as Emma looked at him, he immediately shook his head. “No sir!”

Paul smiled at Emma, and she reluctantly smiled back, realising she might not be in that much trouble. “I’ll be taking Calvin back, then.” Paul got the penguin out of the bag, quickly putting him back in the water. Calvin peeped angrily, but luckily did not attack.

Emma looked rather ashamed, so Paul pointed his head to the bench and told the children to sit there. Emma took the little girl and fastened her into the stroller. “It’s okay, Simon. Just watch Isabel for a second,” She said to the boy, “I’ll be right back.”

Emma followed Paul a few feet away from the bench, where she could still watch her niece and nephew. “Look, I’m sorry.” Paul waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t. “Hey, don’t worry about it. Happens all the time.”

Emma laughed softly, “Sure it does.” Paul felt his heart beating a little bit too fast, and not because a penguin nearly got stolen on his watch. “I’m just going on a hunch here, but I guess you don’t usually steal penguins from zoos. What made you decide to do so today?”

“I just wanted to do something fun for them… I can’t afford a plushie or something. My sister thinks I’m a screw-up, rightly so. She doesn’t let me see her kids a lot. God, you must think I’m so stupid.”

Paul smiled, putting his hand on her arm. “I don’t think of you like that at all Emma.” Emma’s eyes went wide, and she blushed. She shook her head. “Listen, Paul –“She was interrupted by her niece, who started wailing because her brother had pinched her.

“Simon, don’t do that!” Emma exclaimed. “I’m so sorry I have to deal with this. Plus, I should probably get going, if we want to see some of the rest of the zoo, before it closes.” Then Paul made a reckless choice. “Hey, why don’t you stick around for feeding time? I could get you and the kids involved? Maybe let you throw some fish?”

Emma’s eyes lit up. “Oh my God, could I? I mean… Isabel and Simon would love that.” Paul grinned at her and took her and the kids back to Bill. “Attempt at theft is rewarded now?” Bill murmured, to which Paul replied, “Fuck you, Bill.”

The kids did (Emma included) indeed love feeding time. As Paul raddled off facts about African penguins to a small crowd of onlookers, Bill helped Emma and her family to feed the penguins. Isabel ended up crying a little, but Simon had the time of his life.

Bill smiled throughout the whole ordeal, more than he had in a long while. Paul asked him about it as they were cleaning their hands. “It reminded me of when Alice was young. God I gotta get her to call me more often.” Paul clapped his friend on the back in a gesture of comfort. He hadn’t seen Alice a lot since the divorce, but he used to love babysitting her, even if it meant sitting through a shitty musical.

After their hands were clean and the buckets were put away, Paul walked over to Emma, who was holding Isabel and drying her few remaining tears.

“I should go, more animals to steal – I MEAN SEE!” Emma said, winking at Paul. She looked reluctant to go, and Paul had to agree with that sentiment. “I really can’t let you go, you know?” He blurted. Realising what he said, he added, “What with you attempting to steal Calvin. I should probably come along! You know, make sure you don’t put Trunkell the elephant in you stroller!”

Emma smiled at Paul’s joke, and put Isabel back in her stroller. “I’d like that, actually.” Then she frowned. “Wait, don’t you have to work?” “I don’t have to do another feeding for an hour, and Bill can probably take that one. So it’s fine.” Emma hesitated, and then nodded, smiling softly.

Paul smiled brightly, even more so as Simon took his hand. “Auntie Emma, can I tell mama about Mr. Calvin Penguin tonight?” “Uh, I’d rather you didn’t!” Emma exclaimed. “Jane would kill me…” She whispered to Paul, who laughed.

They spent the day laughing, watching the kids get excited about their favourite animals. When Emma heard about the coffee-incident of that morning, she bought Paul a coffee. In return, he bought her and her niece and nephew an ice-cream, using his staff-pass for discount.

Paul was taken aback, watching Emma interact with her family. She was so beautiful, funny, and honest. Plus, she was so sweet and gentle with Isabel and Simon, even though Paul had an inkling that Emma could also be quite cocky and sarcastic.

Emma and Paul ended up walking hand in hand most of the day and exchanging numbers. Bill, only a little upset that Paul had left him to feed the otters by himself, ended up sneakily taking a picture of them and sending it to the group chat they had with Charlotte, Ted, and Melissa.

 

Years later, they would laugh as Ted made fun of them for their weird origin story. Paul had just bought Emma a penguin plushie, to celebrate their anniversary. Emma hit him with it, but when she fell asleep that night, she was holding plushie Calvin tightly to her chest.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave a comment :)  
> Also thanks to my friend Nina (who is part of the reason why I am writing fanfiction again after months lol)


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